Prepare the ground with tumbling or wrestling mats. Clear an area of large objects that people could hurt themselves on. In a practical sense, primals should also set up a space to enjoy this time of play. Is there anything you or somebody else needs at the moment to feel safe? Having a discussion about how the established boundaries were upheld or unintentionally crossed during primal play is a great first step in aftercare. As long as there is a high level of trust between the two partners, primal play can be a very intimate and explosive BDSM and sex practice.Īfter primal play (and all sexual scenarios!), check in on yourself and those involved. This includes setting up safewords and/or safe signals before play begins to ensure everyone's safety. Because being primal includes fighting and animalistic tendencies, it's important that the dominant and submissive are communicative with one another to ensure comfort with the situation. This could look like a kink contract, or a verbal discussion.

No matter what shape it takes for a particular couple, it's important to discuss boundaries before engaging in primal play. Primal play can look like sniffing for another partner, it might include a chase to submission, or consensually tasting and biting a partner in a sexual way. Primal play can allow people to take off their civilian masks and only listen to their senses, which can bring out their primal instinct. During sex, there was a lot of growling and grunting he was also really into rough body play.” 'He would always describe it as this animalistic part of him being able to be released. “Someone I used to see identifies as a primal,' Mistress Mona, a Dominatrix based in Philadelphia, said. The opportunity to shake these weights off and to connect with a more natural version of themselves is part of the appeal for many primals. It can also be a cathartic escape from the roles and responsibilities we deal with as part of society. “In S/M and the powerful initiation into archetypal masculinity that it represents, gay men have found a way to reclaim their primal connection to the rawness and power of the Masculine, to give a patriarchal, heterosexist society a stinging slap in the face by calling upon the masculine power of men’s connection to men to break the boxes of immaturity and effeminacy into which we as gay men have been put,' he writes.įor some, the appeal of primal sex play and becoming a primal goes beyond uninhibited sexual play. Tuning into one’s primal connection has supported the reclamation of masculinity in leather communities. Hopcke, primal behavior has historically been used as a weapon against machismo culture and patriarchal power. Primals give themselves over to a sort of devolution during their scenes, where rules and social niceties are discarded.Īccording to psychotherapist and writer, Robert H. In primal sex play, however, those participating are fully aware and engaged in the idea of devolving back to their basic instincts of desire. We generally aren’t allowed to just “take” what we want, and physically fighting for it is also off-limits. On a base level, primal play is a way to exhibit raw emotion and desire outside of the social constraints we live with every day.

In a general BDSM sense, primals can identify as dominants or submissives but may choose to use alternate terms. Primals release themselves from the inhibitions of our world to allow themselves a headspace that is instinctual and reactive to their base impulses and desires. Some things a primal might do include scratching, biting, hair-pulling, vocalizing with grunts and growls, wrestling, and using force and strength with their partner. Those who enjoy primal play may describe it as very passionate and sensual, as well as exhilarating. Because the primal state is purely instinctual, primals say it can be triggered by rough sex, which is how some people find out they are primals. It is a style of BDSM that focuses on raw feelings and actions that are evoked by natural impulses and urges. A primal fetish is a desire or preference for sexual activity that allows the participants to connect with their most animalistic or primal selves. A primal fetish or primal kink refers to someone who enjoys getting into a primal state of being or mind, where a person tends to behave in a rough or animalistic way.

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